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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?