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This year represents a ten-year milestone since the phrase “disappearing” entered the mainstream. At the time, the concept that someone could suddenly stop communication with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes unsuccessful exercise in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by online slang.

Generation Z, a demographic who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a concerted challenge on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their millennial forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your mental fortitude.

Below is a comprehensive guide to the phrases gen Z is using to talk about love, intimacy and the search of both. To channel one of the recent most viral memes, by the end of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – For Zoomers, dating’s ideal is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon inspired by a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s reaction is engaged or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while exuding mystery and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This refers to seeking out someone who aids you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would get a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people form a link while doing chores, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do affordable dating in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or breakup, spilling all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 80s young urban professional excess, it describes partners who choose against having children to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of acting aloof: practicing dialogue, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits indicating a potential partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits validate your decision to date a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who despises the same things or individuals that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band many young men likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately delaying climax so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Icks – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that immediately kill any sense of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful act.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {